you fell through the wreckage
 landed with a twisted grin
smiled at me from ten thousand miles away but
it was like you were next to me i dont forget

you i walk  into

your perfect abyss
it eats my heart out
miss you
had such languishing appeal from dusk until dying
that bloody way you were into mashing our souls together
you said to hell with dire consequence
unintended magic misguided power

i dont forget you
as a grown girl i dont even have the comfort to believe this too shall pass
no no it wont
ill be old and still the memory of you will weigh on me wash over me rolling waves of disbelief like rain over the ocean and
  pull the shawl  wrapped around my shoulders close but my skin is already growing too thin  the shawl too thin for
the damp chill seeps

yet heartbeats and lately i
let you here you are inside my head i dare
only to hunt you down
wont whisper your name like the name of a ghost theres something in the way my body forms around the air
in the absence of you
as if the space you no longer occupy has droplets of memory imbued
. i rent a hole and reach my arm through  i feel around in the emptiness but nothing feels me back

heartaches are necessary
 moments of sadness wet pockets
crushed petal
this is life without giving in to the addiction

serenity courage wisdom

The flash, incendiary,

was cruel to loquat,

and ‘pretty little Lily’

missed the vimpa.

I think it’s tiresome

but now everyone bowns antremonstrant,

and we all know the poems come from Handybilly and Vinylite.

A place where they’ve all been before:

No wonder Horneophyton

was nonloxodromic

It’s perfect, it’s parallel

It’s structured

It’s neat, and

Provera and Media gave a subwink.

It’s time in a bundle

Of sweat, tears and blood, the meat of my memories,

cloisonné and –

and full of tearableness

Recurring and lasting

Impending Doom has Hope on the other end

Calling her “baby,” and predelinating Her Tethys

Her sputtering froth

Her

death

In the fugue

Follow the threads

Go back to the end

Acetylize the chrysolepis

Preallude to the nontraceability

It’s quite all right and good to know
That you’re the one who heals his soul

And with just a touch of fingertips — against his lips
You quiet him when he slips

And how you slip
Like air between
The fractured, living, quite unseen

And reading things you should not read with your sparkling green
Eyes like leeks and sense of keen
No apology

I want to rip skin like dogs do when they play, let me bite you.
Skulls are hair and seam-stitched bones; (voodoo) charmed wind chimes.

I watched as the moon sliced sideways through a blizzard in the mountain pass.
Wolves are born restless, with wild blood and purpose.

I want to be consumed, to consume, like ocean waves, like febrile flame.
Stars radiating hot flash nirvana, a boundless, jack rabbit soul.

I am a gypsy, I cannot get lost.
The skies inhalant, vaporous, wide — there is desire in the endless.

I am drawn to the artist in his loneliness, I am drawn to the Devil’s best friend.
Beneath the twilight void — expanding, old tune playing; alea iacta est.

It is true I rush into standing room only.
I see the crescent moon, I am not blind to the blinking stars.

I wear the purple shroud of dusk in the still winter night.
The steam rolls out of my lungs and into my crow black soul.

Let me go then to meet new destinies and carry onward the flame.
I will always let my heart go where my mind knows it should not.

If my sadomasochistic nature shows itself it is because I am made in his image.
I am tormented with ten thousand hells in being deprived of everlasting bliss.*

As long as the handcuffs stay on I cannot reach my fingers through the glass.
I window shop this love affair for the teletransportation experiment has failed.

I will walk home quietly as if the street corner orchestra has packed and gone.
Orange, pink,- Saturn rings reflect, like, tiny keys on a music box, aleatoric.

*Mephistopheles to Faust.

There is time to talk about the rain,
how it reminds me of spring.
Rain rivulets running the spines of bare branches
Awakening with fire the quick of sap beneath

And it reminds me of spring
I am not wanting to sit so still waiting
With fire I awaken the quick of sap beneath
I screamed his name, he heard me

I am not wanting to sit so still and waiting
The rain, like lover’s fingers slide
I screamed his name, he heard me
A field of flowers will bloom from that spark

The rain like lovers fingers slide
Down my window panes, melting snow
A field of flowers will bloom from that spark
The fire spinner knows my name

Rain slides down my window panes, melting snow
Streaming to the hallow, to the deep
The fire spinner knows my name
Earth’s axis points towards new

Streaming to the hallow, to the deep
The hind runs effortlessly, no danger
Earth’s axis points towards new
And leaves for warmer climes the chill of winter

The hind runs effortlessly, no danger
The rain is like a veil to shield the changing season
The Earth leaves for warmer climes the chill of winter
The roots begin to stir

The rain is like a veil to shield the changing season
With his flame
The roots begin to stir
Moving cold earth with purpose

I do not want to wait
I want to move this cold earth with purpose
Like in spring
The way the rain wears down the snow

I’m bored

Let me bite you

I do want to rip skin and

I do want to lay still while you rip mine,

I’m lupine.

Spring fever dreams,

Moonlight,

And your early morning phone call,

Made me want to rip the cord from the wall;

I know you.

– Think you want to be consumed

by that hatred of yourself but

someday you’ll be mine,

I’m vulpine.